Divine Disappointment

As my life is taking its new course and direction, meandering through much fog and darkness at times, I cannot help but ponder the meaning of disappointment.  Disappointment plagues us all and in differing forms; we become disappointed in people, places, situations, and even in GOD.  

What is disappointment?

It is the failure or lack of success of our goals, expectations, and wishes.  Disappointment often leads to anger and bitterness which doubles our ultimate grief.  What is one to think, what is one to feel, what is one to do when his/her dreams shatter and life or relationships goes in a different direction then hoped for?  Why is God allowing all this unmet expectations in my life?

We can either let our disenchantment get the best of us and we become bitter, angry, cynical, and negative; or we can put on the mind of Christ and see through His eyes to perhaps discern what HIS will is for us.

“For My thoughts are not your thoughts, Nor are your ways My ways,” says the Lord. “For as the heavens are higher than the earth , So are My ways higher than your ways, And My thoughts than your thoughts.” Isaiah 55:8-9

As we walk on the path of Salvation and begin living in the Spirit, we must come to a realization that God loves us, wants the best for us, and is ultimately wiser than us.  We, little by little, begin to trust HIM and begin to ascertain the fact that just because we have desired or wished for something, perhaps, just perhaps, it is not for our own good.  We need remove our ego as the focal point of the universe and realize that not every thought we think, or emotion we have, or goal we set, is a good idea or is healthy for our soul. 

Perhaps God is not allowing the fulfillment of our hearts desire for it is not in our best interest.  If He is truly Our Father, as we profess always, then just as our earthly father withholds the 20^th piece of candy from his children knowing that it will make them sick and vomit, we must trust that our personal Father, who loves and cares for us to the nth degree, maybe withholding his blessings upon many of our misguided adventures.

Disappointment stings so bad for it makes quite clear our collective human weakness, lack of foresight and understanding,  revealing truly how shallow and lost we are, especially as we force our own objectives at the expense of the Divine.

So What Do We Do?

Believe it or not, disappointment (if understood correctly) is the vehicle by which God blesses us with His gifts which are by far spiritually better than the things we have hoped for.  The denial of our plans must lead us to the thought that our goals are either ill-timed or conceived in Gods overall plan for us or HE has an alternative blessing He is waiting to shower upon us--- if only we Trust.

1.      Express your feelings ( wants, desires, disappointment, grief etc) to the Lord of hosts.

a.      We often stop praying when the dark clouds of uncertainty overtake us.  But this is precisely the time when dialogue with our Saviour is of utmost importance.  I said dialogue and not monologue; in our conversation with Jesus, we must provide significant amount of quiet time so we are predisposed to actually hear what He is trying to say.  Oftentimes we throw a bomb so to speak to God--- I need this now!!!!—then we run away and not spend the quiet time necessary to hear His answer.

2.     Remember God loves you and cares about the details of your Life

a.      For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.  Then you will call upon Me and go and pray to Me, and I will listen to you.  And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart”  Jeremiah 29:11

3.     Set a new goal, and wait upon the Holy Spirit to confirm the decision

a.     Rest in the Lord, and wait patiently for Him; Do not fret because of him who prospers in his way, Because of the man who brings wicked schemes to pass. Cease from anger, and forsake wrath; Do not fret—it only causes harm.  Psalm 37:7

4.     Reaffirm your trust in your heavenly Father

a.      “Therefore I say to you, do not worry about your life, 
what you will eat or what you will drink; nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing?  Look at the birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns;
 yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not
 of more value than they?  Which of you by worrying 
can add one cubit to his stature? Matt 6:25

5.     Forgive and keep walking on His path

a.     “Do not remember the former things, Nor consider the things of old. Behold, I will do a new thing, Now it shall spring forth; Shall you not know it?
 I will even make a road in the wilderness 
And rivers in the desert. Isaiah 43:19

As I look back over the last 25 years of my spiritual journey and misadventures, I am only now realizing that I have been wrong in my goals, desires, and wants more often than not.  I am so thankful that most of what I was praying for during those early years never came to fruition.  They say hind sight is 20-20, but through the lenses of time I am beginning to be able to shout with the psalmist our father King David:

Bless the Lord, O my soul; And all that is within me, bless His holy name!² Bless the Lord, O my soul,
And forget not all His benefits:³ Who forgives all your iniquities, Who heals all your diseases, Who redeems your life from destruction, Who crowns you with loving-kindness and tender mercies,⁵ Who satisfies your mouth with good things, So that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s. Psalm 103

I still continue to struggle with disappointment and failures for sure, but I am confident now that in my weakness I will be made strong and that I trust in His words that He will not leave me orphaned and will be with me even unto the ends of the days.

A Prayer

I pray to the Lord God, that He will wipe away every tear we shed, that He will comfort our broken hearts and bring peace to our souls.  I pray for us all who are suffering through much disappointment, that He will send His Divine Wisdom to bring clarity to our minds.  I pray that we foster the spiritual discipline to forgive, confess our weakness, and continue our spiritual race leading us to the Giver of Life.

Your servant in our most compassionate King,

Ft. Spyridon

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